The Success Factor that Fills Me with Hope

One day last week during spring break, I noticed a tall, lanky young man walking along the driveway to the outdoor plaza accompanied by one of our therapists. I recognized him as one of our former residents, and was pleased I would have the opportunity to greet him before I headed off to an appointment.

In the months since he’d left Hillsides to live in a foster home at age 13, I’d heard that his return to the community had been challenging for him.  Like many of our residents he can be impulsive, single-minded, and easily misunderstood. His foster mom is a very unassuming woman who is consistent, patient, and very understanding, but in spite of her support he found himself being disruptive in school and was eventually expelled. At one point his behavior required the involvement of the local police department and he was referred to the juvenile justice system. As I would hear reports of how things had spiraled out of control for him, I worried for his well-being and what would become of him in the long- term.

So I was thrilled to see him. He looked good, and engaged easily in our conversation.  I was happy to learn that in spite of his recent challenges, he is now back with his foster mom, attending school, and no longer under the jurisdiction of the juvenile justice system.

It is not uncommon for children and youth who have been in treatment to experience setbacks.  However, with proper attention and care, those setbacks can be mitigated and gains restored. This youth’s visit to Hillsides to check in with his long- time therapist was just one way that he reconnected with the progress he had made while in our program. It was also an opportunity for him to know that no matter what, he was welcome here and would always be supported.

I remember speaking to him while he was living at Hillsides.  I can still hear his plea to find a family where he could belong. Both he and his sister had lost their biological parents to addiction and severe mental illness. After considerable effort, he was fortunate to find a wonderful foster parent who was willing to support him despite the challenges.

Studies show that the most decisive factor in the success of foster children is having at least one adult who can be a consistent presence in their lives.  In spite of the horror stories that trigger our outrage of children abused and neglected in the foster care system, it is heartening to know that there are wonderful foster parents who, without much fanfare, serve as an indispensable refuge for such youth. It is within such a home that dreams of happiness and success are nourished and can be fulfilled.  This fills me with hope about the future of this youth, and I look forward to catching up with him the next time he returns for a visit. 

Why this maintenance failure is making headlines

The recent headline in the Los Angeles Times said it all: “Plight of 2 toddlers puts spotlight on L.A. County family program.” The lead identified toddlers found wandering the busy streets of South LA, hungry, dirty and neglected, mom oblivious to their absence, and the subject of the Department of Children and Family Services’ efforts to help maintain her family. How could this be?

There is a philosophical approach in child welfare practice that, all things being equal, values family unity.  As a result, there is an emphasis to assist families where there may be evidence of abuse or neglect to address their dysfunction and rebuild a stable home. In many instances the interventions employed to achieve this worthy goal are less traumatic for the child and family, leverage the good will and intention of the parents and larger family unit, and lead to a long-term stable environment. One such program is DCFS’ Family Maintenance, which the mother of the toddlers was enrolled in.  However, while this approach may be less intrusive and relatively inexpensive than removing a child and securing him or her in a foster or group home, it is nevertheless a very labor-intensive approach.  It requires expertly trained social workers and other professionals who need to make the successful restoration of a family their exclusive focus.

Assuming the accuracy of the Los Angeles Times article, clearly this mom was not a good candidate for this program. Given her struggles, she needed support beyond what was available. Somehow, insufficient assessments led to a poor judgment about the kind of care required to keep her children safe. As a result these impressionable toddlers have been traumatized and their safety jeopardized. Disaster was averted not by an expert social worker, a veteran social service administrator, or a gargantuan child welfare system but because of an observant bystander who could not walk away from the plight of these two toddlers in need.

As DCFS Director Philip Browning is quoted as saying in the Los Angeles Times, “Something didn’t work here.”  Given the DCFS fact sheet states there are more than 13,800 children in this program, the chances are that there are a number of other cases like this one where, no matter the good intentions of the County, the end result is that children are being neglected, the risk of abuse is significant, and children’s long-term well-being is being sacrificed.  What is being done to assure that the other children in this program are not subjected to the same trauma?

Immediate action is called for. Without knowing how DCFS has responded to this outcry, a number of strategies should be engaged: 

• All cases in the Family Maintenance program should be reviewed, and a rigorous assessment made as to the family’s appropriateness for this particular service. 
• Social workers involved in this program should be engaged to identify the supports and structures needed to effectively render services to children and families in this program. 
• A heightened sense of vigilance and urgency should prevail until all these cases are reviewed and appropriate treatment determined. 
• Additional resources may need to be employed to conduct this review in a timely fashion.

This process should be conducted in a transparent way, providing the public assurances that these tragedies will be avoided.

In 30 years working in the child welfare system I have rarely met a parent or family who cannot be engaged to assure the well-being of their child. That being said, we must not be naïve.  The challenges faced by these families are great and the efforts of those who serve them and their children are significant. For all parties involved, this must be an exclusive commitment driven by a desire and hope to see children thrive and be successful. However, the effort is well worth it. At Hillsides, our staff joins with families to accompany them through a difficult journey characterized not only by challenges and heartbreak but also by breakthroughs and achievement. It requires constant attention, diligent, consistent care, and an overall belief that hope can be restored.

We eagerly await not only whatever actions DCFS will introduce to address the failure of the Family Maintenance program but also the findings of the Blue Ribbon Commission appointed by the County Supervisors to review the county child welfare system. Regardless of the findings, I suggest that the remedy to DCFS’ woes has mostly to do with the lack of resources needed to implement the well-intended programs.  More than anything else there is no substitute for well-prepared, experienced workers who have the resources necessary to effectively intervene in the lives of the most vulnerable members of our community like the two toddlers found wandering the street.

And the winner is...

This past Sunday, Lupita Nyong’o won the Oscar for best supporting actress for her role as Patsey in “12 Years A Slave.” She ended her acceptance speech by saying, “When I look down at this golden statue, may it remind me and every little child that no matter where you’re from, your dreams are valid.” Many know her story of being born in Mexico, raised in Kenyan, and a graduate of Yale School of Drama. It is an unlikely story of a woman who looked beyond what others saw as limitations to become an acclaimed actress. She was able to see her achievement as not only an indicator for herself, but indeed for “…every little child.” To acknowledge that dreams can be realized speaks to the true role model she is for all young people, especially for those who struggle against hardship, injustice, and discrimination. In such a surreal moment, Lupita has become a hero for many.

February came to a close at Hillsides with a celebration of Black History Month. The recreation center was filled with displays from each cottage depicting African-American heroes, who by their examples contributed to the freedom that all Americans enjoy today but especially those of color. Each cottage chose a significant person throughout history to study. Those selected to be profiled were Mohammed Ali, Maya Angelou, Rosa Parks, Jackie Robinson, Martin Luther King, and Tupac Shakur.

When asked about Maya Angelou, one of our 11-year-old residents explained that he admired her because of her inspirational poems about freedom, “I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings,” which reads, in part:

The caged bird sings
with a fearful trill
of things unknown
but longed for still
and his tune is heard
on the distant hill
for the caged bird
sings of freedom.

Whether it is Angelou, now Nyong’o, or any of the other heroes selected, theirs are the stories of adversity confronted and achievements reached even though some dreams are still not fully realized. They are stories that inspire none-the-less and encourage each of us, especially those we serve, to embrace their dreams and strive to see them fulfilled. 

We measure our success at Hillsides not just in improvement scores, graduations, and family reunification.  We measure our success when dreams can be, once again, embraced and hope for their fulfillment is restored.

A Celebration of Art

This past Saturday night, on February 22, Hillsides threw its Annual Gala, “A Celebration of Art” at the iconic Langham Huntington, Pasadena.   This extraordinary evening was very successful, raising over $450,000 for our programs and services.

During the evening, 375 guests were treated to fine dining, entertainment, dancing, and a chance to bid on a wide array of items.  Unique to this gala, and in honor of its theme, we auctioned more than a dozen art works, including ones by noted New York artist Paul Gerben as well as by several local talented artists.  The gala also recognized that at heart, Hillsides is an artist as we work to transform children’s pain and trauma into hope and healing.

The evening would not have been successful without the tremendous efforts of the gala chair, Susan Pinsky.   We are most appreciative of her hard work and support, and that of her entire committee.   Also lending support was her husband, Dr. Drew Pinsky, who spoke during the evening and reminded the attendees of Hillsides’ mission to create lasting change in the lives of children and families.

I also want to thank Fritz Coleman, our emcee of the live auction, who helped us raise almost $70,000 on that one portion of the evening.   And I would not want to leave out our talented and tireless director of development, Carrie Espinoza, the entire Advancement Service staff, the legion of volunteers, and the many sponsors who made this gala possible.    A round of applause to all of you.

What follows is a video we presented at the event .  It was truly wonderful to see all of you who attended, and for those who couldn’t, we hope to see you at next year’s gala and you can still make an impact by making a gift.

Excited for music

The other day while visiting the playing field I was introduced to a resident I had not met before. He was understandably shy but welcomed the opportunity to greet me. He was holding a blank piece of paper and I asked what it was for. He explained that it was for a project he was doing and did not seem eager to offer any details. A while later while I was talking to a member of our recreation staff, the same resident approached me this time with some lyrics on the paper, explaining his excitement about recording these lyrics to some music he had selected. The staff member encouraged him and shared with him the details of the upcoming recording session. He lit up at the thought of being able to record his lyrics to music.

I can’t wait to hear what will come of the recording session. A shy, seemingly vulnerable boy finally gets a chance to express himself…priceless. Of course, all this has little to do with the final product, but rather the importance of the experience itself.  More than anything else, it is essential for him to know that he can say what he thinks and feels, his voice will be heard and respected, and what he has to say is important. For youngsters, whose sense of worth has been compromised by indifference if not neglect, an opportunity to express themselves can be transformational.

The arts program at Hillsides provides a special way that our residents can express what they feel in their hearts and have on their minds without necessarily conforming to the usual norms governing either an instructional or clinical session. It is a way to tap into their creative energy and to learn the joy and pleasure of being spontaneous and enthusiastic while revealing an important sense of who they are.

What is offered through the expressive art program is indeed therapeutic. In tandem with the clinical and educational staff, our art and recreational specialists support the overall goal of ameliorating the trauma experienced by children. The staff restore children to a sense of well-being essential for their reunification with family and community.

Integrating expressive arts to augment traditional therapies has become an indispensable part of services offered at Hillsides. At the upcoming gala, this program will be featured with the hope of generating much-needed funding to sustain it.

If you have not yet secured a ticket to this wonderful event, please contact Carrie Espinoza, director of development, at 323-543-2800, ext. 121 and make arrangements to support the many initiatives at Hillsides to create lasting change for all we serve.

The impact of art

The art studio at Hillsides is a well used space alongside the recreation center that is showing its age, having endured paint splatters, ceramic drippings, and silkscreen wax droppings for quite some time now. The worn and tired studio is nevertheless a hub of wonderful activity.

Recently, I was walking by the art studio and was drawn in by the sound of singing. As I entered the room, residents were engaged with their respective projects while singing along with the pied piper of the group, Kim Ha, the director of the art program. Kim was strumming his guitar singing a well-known pop song while residents and staff sang along moving to the beat. It was a joyous experience, one that Kim describes as transformative, helping these children to put aside their cares and enjoy the moment, happy and carefree.

Kim explains that the goal of introducing music to the art sessions is to promote creativity and fun while giving the children an opportunity to become ever more comfortable with expressing themselves. For our residents, who often are at a loss to describe the traumas they have experienced let alone the feelings they have, art and music are indispensable ways to share what is going on in their heart and mind.

The work being done in the art studio is an important part of the therapeutic experience offered at Hillsides. In an effort to be supportive of this important activity, this year’s gala committee, led by our board member, Susan Pinsky, chose the theme, “A Celebration of Art.” This annual dinner and dance gala will feature art from local artists, among other items, and emphasize its important place in the array of services that we provide.  

Join us at this wonderful celebration and in doing so lend your support to sustain this indispensable activity for our residents. Your support will allow us to strengthen the capacity of the art program by giving the children we serve a wonderful way to express themselves and discover the “art” of living happily free from pain and trauma.

Tickets are $300 and can be purchased online. To learn more about the gala, contact CarrieEspinoza, Director of Development, at 323-543-2800, 121. Come together with neighbors and friend as we commit to creating lasting change for all those we serve. 

Waiting to hear

As I was walking around the campus the other day I encountered a 10-year-old resident who asked me if I had been to the meeting held that morning to discuss her treatment plan. She was preoccupied with what might be decided and was anxious to know the outcome. Sitting with her I could not help but wonder how unsettling it is for a child to be left wondering about the future.

Fortunately, I had some information about the challenges this little girl is facing and how difficult it has been to find a good option for her that will assure her safety and reasonable hope of being reunited with her family. For the past three months we have been dealing with unsuccessful attempts at reunification. These efforts have been complicated by a bureaucratic maze of reviews and approvals, introducing delays and adding to the frustration of such a vulnerable child.  It is of little consolation that minimally she is being kept safe, attends school, and has improved while at Hillsides. She is still not home, unsure of what will come next.

She is like so many children in the foster care system in Los Angeles County, cared for and yet still longing for a permanent solution. Recently, the Blue Ribbon Commission on Child Protection issued an interim report that focused mostly on how to prevent fatalities of children, especially those under the age of five, who are in the care of DCFS. Ten recommendations were made that would increase the cross-agency interaction to hopefully address this serious issue. The recommendations all focus on marshaling more effectively the resources already available within the existing public services system. That being said, greater integration of services and heightened vigilance can only be seen as part of the solution and indeed not the remedy.

More than anything else in such a large community like Los Angeles, the challenge is to break things down into a manageable size. The solution has to do with creating communities that look out for its children and families and have the resources to prevent abuse and provide early intervention.  As diverse and spread out as Los Angeles is, there are still very distinct neighborhoods that provide manageable networks that support a sense of community. The children and families we serve depend on the good order and functioning of its local communities to provide safe, protective and healthy environments within which children can learn, play, and develop.

The specialty services that we offer at Hillsides are resources not only to the children and families we serve, but also the communities from which they come. With a common vision and commitment to make a lasting impact for these vulnerable children, we can ease the anxiety of a fragile 10 year old, lessen the grip of the bureaucratic maze, and more effectively use the resources available. 

Non-violence dream

This week we celebrated the life and legacy of Martin Luther King Jr. As I was reflecting on the significance of Dr. King’s life, I was struck by his commitment to confront the injustice of racial inequality exclusively through non-violent means. This approach was embraced in spite of the movement being the object of considerable violence. He himself was savagely slain. No one was spared the hatred, including some innocent children who perished in the Birmingham church bombing. Retaliation would have been easy to justify, but rather the “weapon” chosen by the civil rights movement was shear conviction and determination to confront hatred with non-violence, knowing full well that some would bear the ultimate sacrifice.

Violence has become a pervasive element of our society and culture, manifested in many ways, some blatant others less obvious. When I consider the lives of the many children, youth, and families we serve I can not help but be struck by the violence that they have experienced. The stories, in some instances, are horrific and the reaction visceral as we deal with piecing back together children and families who have been torn apart by brutal acts of neglect and abuse, both physical and emotional.

Certainly justice demands punishment and consequences for the perpetrators. Although as satisfying as that may be as with the civil rights movement, that is not the remedy to the injustice, rather only the consequence for the violence. Something more is needed to bring about change. This is where the dream of nonviolence comes to play.

For us at Hillsides we have a dream for those we serve-- a vision of creating lasting change in lives by restoring hope and freeing them from harm. It is a realistic hope that healing can come about, well-being can once again be established, and a stable caring relationship will serve as the foundation for a successful future.

In the past year we have embarked in a process of creating a heightened awareness of how trauma impacts the lives of all we serve. Like anything that is ubiquitous, it is easy to underestimate the subtle impact of trauma in our lives and how unwittingly we contribute to further traumatizing those who are so vulnerable.

It is very challenging to maintain such a heightened sense of awareness, but gradually it is helping us to create a better environment for both clients and staff, one that effectively mitigates the impact of trauma and restores hope.

Dreams are important because they have the ability to motivate and, therefore, create lasting change. The Martin Luther King Day celebrations invite us to embrace the dream of lives freed from violence and inspire us to devote all our energies to realizing this great vision.

Hillsides' war on poverty

Fifty years ago this month, President Johnson initiated this nation’s war on poverty. Much has been accomplished and yet much is still left to be done. Poverty is at the root of so many challenges that we face as a country. Frequently we get engrossed in many issues regarding child welfare that more often than not would substantially be alleviated if the grip of poverty could be lessened.

In spite of tremendous efforts over the past half-century, Los Angeles County has the highest poverty rate in the nation at 22 percent; nationally the poverty rate is 16 percent. With numbers like these you have to ask what has been the impact of the war on poverty. A typical drive through the County easily demonstrates the great disparities that exist between classes, races, and ethnic groups. Certainly all of the families we serve are indeed poor or are barely surviving against overwhelming odds that place them at risk for succumbing to poverty.

Typical challenges like finding affordable housing, managing an improving but still inadequate public transportation system, accessing good education and child care and maneuvering a nevertheless relatively expensive health care system quickly become insurmountable obstacles when unemployment, disability, and addiction become part of the mix.

For the families we serve, the struggle to avoid poverty is constant and requires their unwavering effort. Nevertheless their stories are of courageous people who in spite of the challenges persevere grateful for the support offered to them and their children. Like perhaps no one else, they know what is required to break the cycle of poverty and are focused on leveraging the services that they receive to create a subsequent generation that is raised up beyond the basic survival they endure.

All the rhetoric about the battle against poverty is empty if the essential services that are necessary to combat poverty are underfunded and easily eliminated. There is no question that there is a corollary with, a poorly funded educational system, lack of access to affordable health care and the rising costs of housing and transportation. These are the fundamental issues often sacrificed in times of economic constraint that undermine the effort of the poor to simply educate their children, live modestly, and sustain a decent job. Is it any wonder that the poverty rate continues to be as significant as it is?

Our efforts at Hillsides, although targeted to address very specific needs of the children, youth and families we serve, become critical sources of support to help them develop the capacity to break the cycle of poverty. Whether it is the individualized education we offer, the array of comprehensive mental health services, the intensive care offered through our residential treatment services or the outreach available to youth transitioning from the foster care system, all these are important pieces in an arsenal to support those we serve as they wage war on poverty.

Clearly good intentions and grandiose plans have not been successful at easing the challenges of the poor. More than ever this important historic point is an opportunity to learn some lessons and recalibrate our efforts so as to be much more effective. Although public funds are essential, they must be matched with private resources and determination by all parties to never settle for anything less than victory over poverty. 

It was the night before Christmas…

A long time ago I learned that the best thing for me to do at this time of year was to step aside from the fray and let the “professionals” do their thing, leaving me with the task of being the chief glad hander and merry maker while everyone else tends to the details. It leaves me the freedom to wander the campus, visit with our residents and staff, and wish them the season’s best.

As I make my rounds during the holiday, I am reminded that the true miracle of the season is that a large empty room at Hillsides becomes filled to the rafters with toys and gifts that help fulfill the hopes and dreams of all the children and families we serve. The call went out early in the season and it has been a steady convoy of cars and individuals bearing gifts. The chief elf this year was a rather unlikely character, large for an elf standing at better than six feet, wearing a bell around his neck in order to be detected in the stacked maze of toys and gift items. An elf’s day is long and requires great stamina but in spite of the holiday weariness each and every visitor to Santa’s workshop was greeted with a smile, a jingle of the bell, and a heartfelt thank you.

Since Hillsides is so special, Santa comes a few days early to visit our residents and so a walk around campus on Christmas Eve provides encounters with happy and grateful kids who continue to be awed by an all knowing Santa who clearly had rewarded them for how nice they have been this past year. Skateboards abound on our signature hills, basketballs are being broken in on the basketball court, and the familiar sounds of electronic games echo everywhere. New outfits are donned for a family visit or some of the many holiday festivities planned.

All in all it is a magical time of year when disappointments and hurts are put aside to spend time with people who love and care about one another. They are precious days that help to reset relationships and hope for a better new year.

To all our many volunteers and donors who so generously help us to create memories for all we serve, thank you. Without your support we would be unable to fulfill the hopes and dreams that are so important to the children and families in our care. May you and your family have a wonderful holiday and enjoy the comfort of knowing that your kindness this holiday season has made a wonderful difference for all those we serve at Hillsides.

Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas!

Travesty

Unlike many of our peer organizations, Hillsides does not provide foster family services. We do not have any foster homes associated with Hillsides. When asked why that was the case, my predecessor, John Hitchcock, indicated he was reluctant to provide a foster home service where the quality of care that would be provided in these foster homes could not be guaranteed. He had reason for his reluctance and certainly the recent exposé in the Los Angeles Times points to why we all should be reluctant to entrust vulnerable children to a system that seems woefully inadequate.

The article points to abuses by some providers and certainly does not reflect the excellent and essential service that many of our peers organizations provide through the foster homes that they sponsor. However, it would seem from the article that there are some significant concerns with how many of the foster home agencies operate and are monitored.

More so than ever the children that are being referred to a foster home require a relatively comprehensive array of services. The foster parent must display extraordinary skill and ability to be successful. In addition to providing a safe living environment, foster parents are asked to facilitate therapeutic care that is specifically oriented to the individual needs of the child. It is very demanding, requires a significant level of training and exclusive commitment. Given the extraordinary need for such homes and the increasing neediness of the children being served, it is essential that the selection of foster parents benefit from a rigorous screening process. In addition, foster parents should be afforded all the resources and support needed to adequately and effectively address the needs of the children in their care.

From the details revealed in the Los Angeles Times article this was not the case with the foster parents that were the subject of the exposé. In addition, the organizations themselves did not have the adequate structure or orientation to effectively deliver quality care to these children.

The following measures would better provide for the needs of the children served in foster homes.  First, foster homes should be aligned with a reputable organization that is accredited by a body that has clearly identified standards of operation and practice for foster homes. Second, the same licensing and regulatory requirements that govern institutions providing therapeutic services should apply to all foster homes and be rigorously applied and monitored by Department of Children and Family Services. Third, infractions or violations need to have meaningful consequences and be addressed in a timely fashion. Minimally, these measures should be instituted if not already in place.

Although there will always be a need for good quality foster homes, the ultimate solution is helping families to provide for their own children. Much success has been achieved by identifying within an extended family a relative who can fulfill the parenting responsibilities, if for whatever reason the actual parents are unable to do so. Coupled with a strong community-based support system, most children can be served well, family caregivers can be effective, and the trauma of inadequate care can be avoided. Together with a  couple of other peer organizations, Hillsides has piloted this approach and it has been very effective. Children have been kept safe, improvement is evident, and long-term stability is established.

The challenges are great, but that cannot keep us from doing everything in our power to avoid any recurrence of the travesty that some children in the foster care system have suffered. 

Labels

During this season I often ask some of the children in residence at Hillsides what they would like as a gift for the holidays. They often respond by mentioning a brand name instead of the actual item. Luckily, I know that Nike refers to sneakers but I often need a translator! In an increasingly commercialized world, things are often identified within particular categories, each with a perceived value and even prestige.

The compartmentalizing of our world is not limited to commercial aspects. Within the children’s services field we identify  people according to categories often associated with their diagnosis, behavior or symptom. Of course the problem with these categories is that they do an injustice to those we serve. The children, youth, and families we serve are more than the sum of the symptoms or challenges that any one of them experience.

Recently, I was stopped by one of our more enterprising residents who “works” in the kitchen as a dish washer. He called me over to negotiate a better reimbursement for his indispensable service. In spite of the many challenges he confronts or the diagnosis given him, he is an engaging, ambitious kid prepared to make sure that his wage is fair. He wants to be happy, have fun, not worry about his safety or well-being and be successful.

For him and all the children, youth, and families we serve at Hillsides what they need from us is to serve as a resource for them so that their dreams may be realized. It is not just about providing the right diagnosis, but rather looking beyond the presenting symptoms to embrace the dream of a full and happy life for them.

This kind of work is not done in isolation. It can only be done effectively by a community of professionals, volunteers, and neighbors who together play different roles in delivering the many resources that make a difference in the lives of all in our care. Be assured that it does make a difference, especially at this time of year. We could not fulfill all the needs we attempt to address during the holiday season without the generous support that we receive from our donor community.

This week we anticipate a series of articles in the Los Angeles Times that will expose the failures of the foster care system and the tragedies that result because of its ineffectiveness. As important as such a series may be in serving as a catalyst for change, it also does a disservice to many good people who in spite of the challenges never-the-less provide indispensable care to children and families struggling with many issues. Rather than being disheartened I hope you will redouble your efforts at supporting and advocating to create a system of care that truly and effectively makes a lasting change.

Childhood and holiday wishes fulfilled

I am releasing my weekly blog on Tuesday rather than on Wednesday to coincide with #GivingTuesday, the Tuesday after Thanksgiving. This is a national movement that celebrates being charitable to others and encourages people to give back to others as we embark on the holiday season. On this day of giving, I am hoping you will consider Hillsides as you look for ways to improve the lives of others. During this time of year, Hillsides receives so many holiday wishes to fulfill, not just for the children who reside here, but for the families and youth in need throughout the community. 

Below is the story of Sarah, whose childhood and holiday wishes Hillsides was able to fulfill.   As you read her story, please keep in mind that without your generosity, children like Sarah would often not receive anything for the holidays. While presents can’t fix a lifetime of hardship, they bring joy and comfort, and give children the sense that they are cared for and important.  Most importantly for children like Sarah, these gifts will last well beyond the holidays and create lifetime memories.

Growing up, Sarah never had a real childhood. The oldest of four, she was thrust into the “mom” role at age 10 when her father abandoned the family and her mother went back to work full-time on the evening shift at a local warehouse.  As a result, Sarah was the one making dinner, giving her siblings baths, and changing diapers.
Eventually Sarah’s mom was unable to keep the family together. At age 13, Sarah entered the foster care system. Two years later, when Sarah arrived  to live at a group home at Hillsides, her therapists realized that in some ways, she was mature for her age, but in others, she was at the developmental stage of a young child.  She was desperate for love and for someone to take care of her.     The staff nurtured Sarah by listening to her, validating her feelings, and looking for opportunities to show they cared about her. When she asked for a doll and a miniature tea set for Christmas, they understood her need to connect with a childhood she’d never had. They made sure she received her desired presents.  They also arranged for her to get her first-ever brand- new coat and a stocking – something else she’d never had before.  Amazed by her gifts, Sarah cried because she never thought she would receive so much and feel so loved.

This holiday season  please fulfill the wishes of children and teens, like Sarah, who without your generosity would not receive anything for Christmas.