Christmas Eve at the Langham

Every year around this time I check in with Tom Johnson, the director of our Residential Treatment Services and ask the same question: how many residents will be here for Christmas? In spite of our efforts to increase a greater connection with families, 25 of our residents were here on Christmas Eve. When you consider how memorable Christmas Eve is for so many of us as we gather with our families and enjoy the rituals that mark our commemoration of this holiday, you can’t help but feel disappointed that these 25 children will have to make do with being away from their homes and families.

In an effort to never-the-less make Christmas Eve memorable for those residents at Hillsides, each year the Hillsides Volunteer Network sponsors and hosts a Christmas Eve party at the Langham Hotel in Pasadena. One of the original ballrooms is reserved, tables are wonderfully decorated, a DJ provides music, and a scrumptious meal is served. There are games for the children, prizes and gifts for all and, of course, a visit from Santa, who although has a busy schedule, makes time to stop by. We are so grateful to HVN for making this wonderful event possible, helping these children to enjoy and celebrate this special evening.

As the celebration was coming to an end, the DJ offered the microphone to residents who would want to express their thanks. I will admit that this “open mic” moment always leaves me a little concerned not knowing what might comes out of the mouths of our Hillsides residents, but as always what they shared became one of the most memorable moments of that evening for me and the volunteers.

One girl who has been at Hillsides a short time summed it all up by saying, “Thank you, Hillsides, for making sure that we always have a lot of fun!” Isn’t that what it’s all about, helping these youngsters get beyond the trauma they have experienced to, once again, enjoy being carefree children.

Although this holiday party is a long standing celebration at Hillsides, it is a great example of an act of kindness on the part of an extraordinarily dedicated group of volunteers that touches the hearts of very vulnerable children.

And while this time of year we celebrate the beginning of daylight when it slowly increases to break through the dormancy of winter, brighter days await us. With each act of kindness we dispel the hardships so many endure and restore a sense of hope. To all those who generously supported us at Hillsides this holiday season, thank you!

By the way…Look for us in the Tournament of Rose Parade as we hitch a ride on one of two Wells Fargo stagecoaches. Thank you to Wells Fargo for graciously featuring Hillsides as we kick off our centennial year celebration.

Senseless?

There is no good explanation for the tragedy at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Connecticut. There are no simple answers to the question: How can we prevent this from happening again?  Efforts to pin blame are ineffective and serve only to vent our anger. It will be awhile before emotions subside and we are free to examine the situation. However, already some indisputable facts are clear:

• Only one third of those diagnosed with mental health disorders in this country are treated.
• Violence is ubiquitous in our culture.
• Assault weapons are incredibly accessible.

Twenty “angels” and their “guardians” perished as these realities came together and brought evil upon a most unlikely place. 

Mental illness continues to be an unspoken disorder that more often than not goes undiagnosed and when diagnosed untreated because of a lack of resources, the fear of stigma and denial. Very successful therapies are available to address mental illness. Like any illness, the sooner the issue is diagnosed and treatment initiated and sustained the greater likelihood of success. Only when we begin to treat mental illness as any other life altering or threatening disease can we begin to hope that it will cease to be a factor in such a horrific event as the massacre at Sandy Hook.

When mental illness is ignored in a society where violence is considered entertainment disaster is inevitable. Maybe I was especially sensitized to this because of the events of this past week, but as I sat in a movie theater Saturday, I was impressed by how ubiquitous violence has become in our culture and how entertaining it is. Although no studies indicate a relationship between violence on the screen with actual acts of violence, I don’t think I am risking my credibility by suggesting that there may be a correlation.

Why are we an armed society? This question is not an affront to the 2^nd Amendment. The right to bear arms for either personal defense or sport does not require the kind of military like assault guns that have been used in these most heinous crimes. In the most recent cases where assault weapons destroyed innocent lives, they were obtained legally. Some gun shops indicated that sale of the same kind of assault rifle has multiplied significantly in the days since the Sandy Hook incident. How can that be? How can the instrument of such violence become the gift of choice for Christmas? Surely we must understand that the proliferation of assault weapons will only lead to more senseless violence.

As we mourn, testimonials have emerged to the innocence and vitality of these “angels” and their heroic “guardians.” May they be more than heartfelt expressions of grief but become a reason for our resolve to address the issues that contributed to this tragedy.  To take no action is to be party to future atrocities.

Auspicious Date

Some have made much of the fact that the 12^th day of the 12^th month of the 12^th year of this century is auspicious and as a result reserved for special celebrations like weddings.  Others see it as just a precursor to yet another date later this month 12/21/12 when, according to Aztec legend, the world will end.  No matter what your predisposition, one thing is true and that is that we have no idea what tomorrow will bring and so it is best to make the most of today!

At Hillsides we hope that tomorrow will bring a brighter future for the children, youth, and families we serve, and in the meantime, we are committed to doing everything we can today to assure that brighter tomorrow. It’s not a bad way to conduct our work and our lives.

This advice given to those we serve could also apply to our legislators, paralyzed in a tortuous kabuki drama these days, who put off for tomorrow what can be accomplished today. The decisions made today may not be popular, but at least it will provide some clarity as we adjust to a new reality that hopefully will assure a brighter future for us all.

The medicine can be hard to swallow. Often in addressing the needs of children and youth, who have suffered much hardship and disappointment, it seems almost unconscionable to revisit a painful situation. But unless the demons are stared down, they run the risk of capturing our lives. The process is painful, but the rewards can be very gratifying. This is true not only for those we serve, but it is also true in our own lives, in our families, community, and nation.

For those we serve, we remind them that the challenges need not be taken on alone. We are here ready to serve as a resource for them. It is this sense of partnership that allows them to address hardships and become hopeful once again.

Recently, I met with a young man in our young adult transitional housing and services program. His infectious smile would lead you to believe that he is relatively carefree, but the truth is that he has earned that great smile by working hard to overcome challenges. We accompany him on this arduous journey and smile along with him for his accomplishments and the future that he is building for himself. 

At this time of year, no matter how challenging things get, we at Hillsides benefit from the generous support that we receive from the community as we labor against all odds to make this holiday season memorable for those we serve. Together challenges are confronted, obstacles are overcome, and a brighter future is assured.

I hope 12/21/12 will mark not an end, but rather a  beginning, one that is characterized by the triumph of good will to address challenges and the resolve to assure a brighter future for all.  

Incredible, but True and Very Sad

The expression on the Board of Supervisor Michael Antonovich’s face that appeared in a photograph associated with an article on sexually exploited youth in the Los Angeles Times on Monday, December 3 says it all. According to the article, “more than half the juveniles arrested in LA County on prostitution-related charges have been under the care and supervision of DCFS.” Incredible, but true and very sad! To add insult to injury, these youth until the recent passage of the Proposition 35 have been treated as criminals rather than as victims of crimes by law enforcement.

How is it possible that children and youth in the care of the Department of Children and Family Services are lost to the streets and disappear into the nether world of homelessness, prostitution, and addiction? There just has to be a better way to serve such vulnerable youth and to avoid the tragedy of their sexual exploitation.

As mentioned previously on this blog, a young female resident of Youth Moving On, Hillsides’ housing and services program for former foster youth, mentioned to me that she aspires to serve youth trapped by gangs in the world of sexual trafficking. She struggled to gain her freedom from that environment and now serves as an advocate for these youth, helping them to transition away from gang involved prostitution to becoming independent. As with many of these youth, the first step is often a safe place to live.

Although we don’t offer a safe house program, we do reach out to these youth and counsel and support them as they struggle to free themselves from the grip of gang related activities. As always, we are quick to offer them a safe place to live once they can make that break and are resolved to take advantage of the services available through YMO.

Proposition 35 goes a long way in changing the law enforcement culture and will require greater attention to these exploited youth so they receive the care they need  instead of just being led off into the criminal justice system. But this does not address the failures of the child welfare system that somehow “lost” these children and youth to the streets in the first place.

Part of the solution does not just rest with the foster care system, but rather with the families of these children. One of the principal drivers in gang involvement is the need to belong and be protected. For most of us, the need to belong is provided in our family unit. Although it may seem counter intuitive, I think that all we do to find someone within the family of these very vulnerable youth to serve as an adult “anchor” for them accomplishes much in eliminating the need for them to look elsewhere  for the affection and care they deserve.

Certainly special training, increased supervision, better monitoring, and engaging programs would also serve to address the problem. But at the end of the day, it is that one adult, who always will be faithful, consistent, and dedicated that makes the difference in helping a vulnerable child satisfy the basic need to be loved.