One day last week during spring break, I
noticed a tall, lanky young man walking along the driveway to the outdoor plaza
accompanied by one of our therapists. I recognized him as one of our former residents,
and was pleased I would have the opportunity to greet him before I headed off
to an appointment.
In the months since he’d left Hillsides to
live in a foster home at age 13, I’d heard that his return to the community had
been challenging for him. Like many of our
residents he can be impulsive, single-minded, and easily misunderstood. His
foster mom is a very unassuming woman who is consistent, patient, and very
understanding, but in spite of her support he found himself being disruptive in
school and was eventually expelled. At one point his behavior required the involvement
of the local police department and he was referred to the juvenile justice
system. As I would hear reports of how things had spiraled out of control for
him, I worried for his well-being and what would become of him in the long-
term.
So I was thrilled to see him. He looked
good, and engaged easily in our conversation.
I was happy to learn that in spite of his recent challenges, he is now
back with his foster mom, attending school, and no longer under the
jurisdiction of the juvenile justice system.
It is not uncommon for children and youth
who have been in treatment to experience setbacks. However, with proper attention and care, those
setbacks can be mitigated and gains restored. This youth’s visit to Hillsides
to check in with his long- time therapist was just one way that he reconnected
with the progress he had made while in our program. It was also an opportunity for
him to know that no matter what, he was welcome here and would always be supported.
I remember speaking to him while he was
living at Hillsides. I can still hear his
plea to find a family where he could belong. Both he and his sister had lost their
biological parents to addiction and severe mental illness. After considerable
effort, he was fortunate to find a wonderful foster parent who was willing to
support him despite the challenges.
Studies show that the most decisive factor
in the success of foster children is having at least one adult who can be a consistent
presence in their lives. In spite of the
horror stories that trigger our outrage of children abused and neglected in the
foster care system, it is heartening to know that there are wonderful foster
parents who, without much fanfare, serve as an indispensable refuge for such
youth. It is within such a home that dreams of happiness and success are
nourished and can be fulfilled. This fills
me with hope about the future of this youth, and I look forward to catching up
with him the next time he returns for a visit.
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